Why Rake Colin Is A Big Mistake

I have been a vocal advocate for Colin to be, if not a virgin, at least largely inexperienced in sexual matters headed into Bridgerton Season 3 and his relationship with Penelope. However, several reports have come out that this is not to be the case in the new season. I will say that these are what I would call unsubstantiated. One is from “The Sun” which is hardly reputable, and another is from Reddit. That certainly doesn’t mean the rumors are wrong, but they are just rumors right now.

Still, I want to dig into what this could mean if it is true — and I think it’s distinctly possible to be the case, even if I think it’s a major mistake. What I want to focus on is what has been said Colin does sexually in the first episode of Bridgerton Season 3. The report is that, similar to Benedict in S1, Colin has a three-way sex encounter with two women. I’ve talked about the sexism and fetishization of woman-to-woman sexuality on my Instagram, so I don’t want to dig into that here. I do want to discuss what it means for Colin, and for his relationship with Penelope, if they show him having advanced sexual experiences.

Since I am an English teacher, here is my thesis statement: Turning Colin into a rake is against the character they’ve already established, sets up an untenable power imbalance between himself and Penelope, and sends a dangerous message about what is attractive and masculine.

Let’s tackle the first. Colin is distinct from most of the other men in the series, including Simon, Anthony, and Benedict, who are all highly experienced sexually. The described S3 scene with Colin immediately brings up ideas of Benedict’s experiences, and Benedict and Colin are and should be very different characters. If every male character is a rake, that is far less interesting than varying their sexual experience levels. Part of what makes Colin so compelling as a romantic hero is his desire to be just that, a hero. He swoops in to save Marina, is so fixed on chivalry that he won’t even kiss Marina. Colin is not cavalier about bodily intimacy. Taking him from that place, where he has sworn off women in Season 2 because of his trauma with the whole Marina situation, to a rake feels like too big a swing. Obviously he needs to grow from that place of hurt, which is wonderful to see him do just prior to and within his relationship with Penelope.

Speaking of Penelope, the power differential set up between these two is something the creators of Bridgerton are certainly aware of. Penelope has been in love with Colin for years, so that already puts him in a very powerful position. They have to shift that by having Penelope move on from Colin in her search for a husband. That makes complete sense and allows them to get their way toward more equal footing. Her role as Lady Whistledown also helps give her some power. However, one of the major problems with making him a rake is that it entirely shifts the power dynamics once again. In previous seasons, the power dynamics were much more equal, even when it was imperfect. Simon and Daphne are a rake and a virgin, but Daphne is the diamond so she has immense social cache. She also has moral high ground until she dramatically flips it and takes the moral low ground (for all that that’s problematic). Anthony and Kate are a rake and a woman who is at least less experienced if not, we likely assume, a virgin. These two, however, meet each other on equal footing. They go toe-to-toe, and consent is obvious and clear. Kate does not have any lack of confidence in this department, and this allows these two to come together without a power differential even with a rake and a less experienced woman.

Colin and Penelope, however, are entirely different. Penelope has a large part of her arc in her lack of experience and her lack of confidence in this department. Flirting and interacting with men is clearly not a strength. Because she has already been in this lower power position in relation to Colin because of her feelings, which are obviously going to come back full force this season and have never really gone away, bringing Colin’s own power level up with copious sexual experience is something that throws off the balance of this couple. Colin doesn’t have to be a virgin, though I would prefer it, largely because of the next reason I’ll talk about, but leaning into his vast sexual experience, including being with two women at a time that has a lot of cultural emphasis for promiscuity and prowess, is a misstep. Penelope ends up with far less power than Colin in this way, and that isn’t okay.

Finally, the lessons that Bridgerton communicates about masculinity and what is attractive in men is a major problem if Colin is made a rake. Across three seasons, we have watched the sweeter, softer, more emotionally competent man lose out to the sexually experienced, emotionally stunted, more traditionally masculine man. The Prince loses out to the Duke. Mr. Dorset loses out to Anthony. And now, Lord Debling loses out to Colin. If Debling is a sweet, sensitive, vegetarian, and Colin is a cocksure rake, that again gives the lesson that these same, specific traits are desirable over others. And I will grant, I take this too seriously. However, as someone who teaches fifteen to eighteen year olds, I watched a seventeen year old boy get made fun of for his first kiss meaning something to him. This isn’t just about teenagers, but what media depicts as desirable absolutely affects what we as a society see as desirable.

All of this to say that Colin should not be a rake. If this is what happens in Bridgerton Season 3, I will be supremely disappointed. Colin growing up and glowing up, and gaining confidence does not have to correspond to vast sexual experience. It is not a requirement for a man to be attractive that he be a “rake.” We need more media that shows that men who have not wanted those experience, for whatever reason, including demisexuality or any other reality, are absolutely attractive. It’s also important to note that pleasure in sexual experience largely doesn’t come from one partner’s immense experiences with others. It comes from care, clear communication, and connection. That is Bridgerton’s sweet spot, and it should bring that to the surface all the more with a friends to lovers like Colin and Penelope.