Make Your Own Spaces
I recently wrote a post about the power of fan communities and using social media for good. Obviously, not everything that happens in these communities is a good thing, though. I was having a conversation with a friend I made through one of my fan communities. They felt a little on edge because they were worried they had stepped on some toes by wanting to create their own content about the media we mutually loved, and had been disparaged by a few others in the community.
This friend is not the only one who has come to me with a similar concern. I am always disappointed to hear when people with loves and interests in common seek to characterize each other as competition rather than comrades. There is plenty of love and space for all of us — no one has any more right to their voice, their expression than anyone else.
This leads me to my point: make your own spaces.
When I started delving more into fan culture, I kept feeling a bit discouraged. I kept wanting my voice to be heard. I wanted someone to “discover” me, to note my talents and highlight them. I wanted to be invited into existing spaces by people I looked up to, but after a while, that wasn’t getting me anywhere.
I don’t think it was a conscious choice, but at some point, I began to make my own spaces for expression. I started doing lives on Instagram, started writing this blog, started reaching out to others in my communities. I started promoting myself and forming my world to look like I wanted it to.
It’s scary to put yourself out there. Sometimes it’s easier to sit back and wish, and I’m certainly still guilty of that a lot of the time. But I wanted to carve out something where my voice was mattered and could be heard.
That might make some other people uncomfortable. We have been programmed to see the world as one big pie, and the bigger slice someone else gets, the smaller slice we get. That’s not the case. It’s not a zero-sum game, but instead, when we collaborate and work together, we discover that we can in fact make more pies than when were trying to fight each other for the last piece. It’s easy to get bogged down in competition, and it’s a defense mechanism when we feel exposed or vulnerable, but it’s not a healthy way to do things. We should celebrate what each person brings to the table.
When we create our own space, that doesn’t edge out someone else. Their space is still theirs, and perhaps there’s some overlap, but that doesn’t preclude them from existing there as well.
It doesn’t have to be something huge and groundbreaking, either. Maybe it’s starting an Etsy store, or a Facebook Group, or even just a group chat with people who have something in common, but if you wish something existed, make it! If you think you have something to say, say it!
It’s so easy to feel conspicuous when we put ourselves out there, for that anxiety of vulnerability to tell us to get back where it’s safe. But we need more and more people who will speak up about anything and everything. I am a firm believer that the more we speak up about the little things, the easier it is to speak up when the bigger things come. I want to hear the voices from the back that we never get to hear, the voices from people who are nervous about speaking up and speaking out.
Women in particular have often been told that they don’t have something to contribute, or not to “step on someone’s toes” by making themselves heard, which is why it’s even more important that we all support each other when someone steps up to speak.
I am reminded of a fabulous quote from the Queen of making her own spaces, Toni Morrison.
“If there’s a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, then you must write it.”
Don’t wait for others to invite you into the conversation — there’s no time for that! Make your own space, even if it’s scary. Chances are, that with the bravery and vulnerability that it takes to really be yourself, people will respond.